Why “feminine energy” is important and 3 simple steps to access it

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When I first heard the term ‘feminine energy’, I was confused as to what it meant. I thought to myself I’m female so surely, I already exude this energy. What initially came to mind was being ‘feminine’ which I associated with the images that I knew at the time. These included images of women in feminine clothing, being soft, kind, gentle etc. However, through research, investigation and eventually my own experiences I came to learn that it wasn’t what I thought it was at all.


Growing up I was a bit of a tomboy. I enjoyed hanging out with my brothers and cousins and doing what they did despite not being very athletic. To add to this, the intellect was prized in my family when I was growing up so I learned to value the activities which used my mind and to focus on my studies. I didn’t realise it at the time but I leant more into my masculine energy because I thought that was where I was going to get approval.


The fact is we all have masculine and feminine energy within us whether we are male or female. It doesn’t pertain to our gender at all. I see lots of women with more masculine energy than feminine energy and the opposite in men. Feminine energy (known as yin energy in Taoism) is a receptive energy. It represents our intuition, our ability to slow down and listen to that internal voice and to wait for or allow guidance. Whereas masculine energy is an active energy which helps us to take action to achieve our goals or aims in life.


We need both these energies to work together and be in balance to feel whole and centred. I grew up well versed in using my masculine energy. It helped me to achieve the goals that I thought I wanted to achieve but I was left feeling unfulfilled. It took me a long time to realise that my feminine energy was just as important and that I needed it to help direct my life towards the things that I really wanted.


In the past you may have learnt to use your mind to come up with decisions and to decide which direction to take in life. However, to really align with the life that you want, you need to tune into your desires and feelings; to let your intuition guide you. This means taking time out of activity to get quiet and to hear what your inner self/voice is trying to tell you. This may not be easy at the beginning as we’ve all been conditioned to go to our heads and to think things through however our minds only contain our history, a filing cabinet of what we’ve experienced. Our intuition, however can see beyond all of this and can gather information rapidly to come up with an answer.


We’ve been told that being active or ‘doing’ is more respected than being still. ‘Doing’ may give us the impression of achieving something but if we’re taking actions towards a path that actually isn’t aligned with what we want then there isn’t really any point in doing so. Our feminine energy allows us to tune into the actions that we really need to take but doing so requires patience. We aren’t machines that can follow a certain schedule to provide an output. There is so much more to who we are and although we might not be able to see it, there is a reason why things happen the way they do and in ‘perfect timing’.


From my own experience I can say that once you start listening to and trusting your inner guidance and voice, and taking the actions that you’re guided to, then life starts to become more peaceful. You don’t need to worry (though it can take time to break this habit) as you know that you will always be guided to take the right steps at the right moment. You can let go of control and surrender to life.


During these very uncertain times, there’s not a lot that we can plan ahead for in any case and hence why tuning into our feminine energy is so critical at the moment. So why not take each day as it comes and take action when you are called to rather than trying to work out a plan in your mind for the future that only creates stress and worry?


Here’s are 3 steps to help you along the way to accessing your feminine energy:

  • Take time to be still through things like meditation, yoga, mindfulness etc. With so many distractions around these days this can be a difficult step for a lot of people but it really is crucial. We’ve been conditioned to have instant gratification so it can be challenging to slow down and hear our thoughts and to feel what’s happening in our hearts and body. But stick with it. You may feel bored and you may feel a tumult of different emotions but you don’t need to be drawn into them nor into analysing them. Just notice and let the thoughts/feelings be there or move on. Over time, this will become a natural inflow and outflow and you’ll be able to hear what your true inner voice is saying (not just the usual mind chatter and worries/fears);


  • Be patient. As mentioned in the first point, we are used to instant gratification and having things now. But life isn’t meant to be like this. We can see for example in nature that it takes time to grow which we can observe through things such as our seasons. So, know that if something is meant to be for you, it will come when you are ready and the time is right. When we try to force things along, this is enough to show that we’re out of flow with life and probably not ready to have what it is that we’re after;


  • Take action when you feel the call. When you get that inspiration or idea to do something and it feels good in your body (ie no tension) and it feels right in your heart/gut, then this is a good sign that this is the right action to take. The more that we can take time to be still and tune into ourselves and our own rhythms the more that we will be able to decipher what is an intuitive right action to take and what is just a passing thought or sensation in our bodies.


To live more peaceful and harmonious lives which align with our true desires, we need to tune more into our feminine energy for inspiration and then use our masculine energy to realise these dreams or intuitive sparks. Initially it may seem a bit challenging or even a roundabout way to approach life but I encourage you to try it and see how it affects your life.



Julie Lee
As a holistic coach, I facilitate the process of helping people remember who they are and the gifts that they bring to the world. My goal is to bring an awareness and understanding of your core issues so that you can come back into alignment with your true and amazing self, and live a life that truly resonates with you and brings you joy and fulfillment.

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