Healing your inner child

There’s been so much happening cosmically recently that it feels like we’ve entered an even more intense period of growth (if that’s even possible!). We experienced the full moon eclipse on 26^th May, Mercury is now in retrograde and then we’ll have a few more planets going retrograde shortly. Then to top it off, there’ll be a new moon eclipse on 10^th June.

Is it no wonder that I’ve been feeling a bit discombobulated! Have you felt this way too? I’ve had several incidents showing me where I still need to grow and expand and even though it’s been painful for the ego or my personality, I know deep down that this is the important work that we all need to do if we are to heal the past and step into our true power.

I recently had an experience which really showed me how past childhood experiences were still influencing my life today. Over this past year, I’ve had various conversations with family members which have left me feeling misunderstood and not heard. I felt furious and frustrated by these conversations and hugely triggered. However, more recently through reflection I realised that it was a theme that had ran through all areas of my life.

Are you noticing repeating themes in your life?

Although it has been challenging it all makes sense why it is at the forefront of my mind right now as the full moon eclipse really pushes us to release those aspects of ourselves (those thoughts, beliefs, patterns) that no longer serve us. So if you have started noticing similar themes in your life appearing then know that it’s coming up for a reason and that it’s time to take a look at them and to let them go.

I hadn’t quite realised how affected I was by the fact that I felt misunderstood and not heard. However, when I started diving into the subject, I instantly had images of being young and these same emotions being present. When we are unaware of what is happening within us, these different aspects of ourselves end up running our lives rather than our more mature and developed adult selves.

This type of situation or scenario will keep reoccurring until we take a look at the root issue and emotions that are coming up. When we do this, we shine light on what is really happening. We may still feel triggered when something happens to us, but we’ll be able to respond differently when we are aware of our behaviour and thought patterns.

For example, after all of the discussions that I had which left me feeling misunderstood and not heard, I really tuned into this aspect of myself who felt this. Acknowledging what was happening for me (even though it may have initially been activated when I was a child) really enabled me to see it for what it was; that is, unresolved emotions from a past experience.

I allowed all of these emotions to come to the surface for me and to let them run through me. Because of the work that I’ve been doing for over 20 years now, I knew that in reality I didn’t need acknowledgement or acceptance by or from anyone else. It was simply just what I had been conditioned to believe – that we are only loveable and acceptable when others approve of us.

However, knowing this, I still felt that there was a struggle to release these old emotions and so I asked myself why. The answer that I received was really interesting to me. There was a part of me that was really comfortable responding in the old way and blaming others for not understanding or hearing me. Fortunately, I also knew that it was keeping me stuck in the past and would keep me in a powerless position unless I was willing to let go of that old story and pattern and step out of the victim hood mentality.

Doing so can be scary because we have to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions. We can no longer blame anyone for how we feel or how we act. It doesn’t mean we deny what we are feeling or the experiences that we are having. Rather it means that we are the ones that need to take care of ourselves now. We need to be able to acknowledge and accept our own emotions and give ourselves the love and attention that we need.

The benefit of doing so is that over time we become more aware and those old patterns of behaviour start to change. We no longer give our power away to others but rather we take responsibility for ourselves and enable the healing to happen so that we become conscious and aware adults (and not adults run by our child selves). It truly is a magical space to be in.

Steps to help heal your inner child

If you would like to start looking at the different aspects of yourself which may be hidden in your subconscious, then here are some steps that you can take.

1. The first step is always awareness so take the time to really just stop for a moment when you feel triggered, emotional or upset. In general, I recommend taking 5-10 minutes every day just to meditate or connect with yourself so that you can become more aware of what is happening within you. Here is a meditation that you might use to do so: https://youtu.be/HM-aO7ekPiMIncreasing awareness within yourself will make it easier to be able to distinguish between the adult you in this present moment and the younger self who reacts quite differently from who you are now.
2. Once you’ve taken some time to really acknowledge and feel what is happening for you, ask yourself if you can recall another time in your childhood where you experienced similar feelings. From my own experience and working with others, it’s that first image or thought that comes to you that will be the connection. So don’t disregard what comes to you, rather accept it as an intuitive nudge from within.
3. When you’ve identified the experience or moment in time in step 2, give yourself the space and time to connect with this experience and to see if you can speak with this aspect of yourself. It might be in your mind’s eye that you see this or simply close your eyes and imagine this younger self sitting in front of you. Ask him/her what she needs or wants right now and what do they need from you? Reassurance, love, attention, acknowledgement? Whatever it may be, give that to your inner child. You can do all of this by imagining yourself speaking the acknowledgement, reassurance they need or visualise hugging them etc. Let him/her know that you’ll always be there for them and that they don’t have anything to fear or worry about anymore.
4. Notice how you feel after doing so. Do you feel calmer and more at peace? If so, enjoy this feeling. However, it may be that there are further emotions connected to this experience that is coming up for you. If so, allow yourself to experience this and to go back to step 2 and see what situation may be causing these different branches of emotions. Then go to step 3 to provide this inner aspect of yourself with what it needs and wants.

The different aspects of ourselves play a really important part in our lives. They show us where healing is required and where we need to give more love and attention to ourselves. When you start to give yourself what you need, you’ll find your relationships will start to transform. No longer will you be waiting for someone else to fulfill you or make you feel whole as you’ll know that you’re loved and accepted as you are and all that you need is already within you.

If there’s anything that I can do to help, please send me a message. I would love to hear from you.

You might also find this post interesting: Let Love Guide You